Monday, October 5, 2009

Stress, you say?

I couldn’t take my stalling any further. As much as I would want to talk about how frustrated and damned I am of going back to school tomorrow. I would not wish to waste time!!! RAWR RAWR RAWR1483037699_21becff487

xoxo

e

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Saturday, October 3, 2009

Vintage

So today I was going through my vintage photo archive. I finally got inspiration on starting our vintage shop business. The photos that you are about to see are lovely vintage and vintage-inspired photos. Again, stolen uncredited photos.

 

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Pin up girls are never out of fashion. These remind me of Beyonce’s Single Ladies Music Video. Those plump legs and curves are always in-style.

 

 

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Look at that headpiece! She looks totally flowery in this! But I love the finesse she tries to bring up anyway. Ooh, daisy curves this time. Let’s call her Daisy Lady.

 

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Who would dare say vintage without Peggy Lee? The classic Fever artist exemplifies real vintage beauty with those cut-out gloves, amazing hat and thinly-trimmed eyebrows. Her pearls are stunners, too!

 

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Classic pose. Poor lady we wouldn’t be able to see her face. I like the way how she flipped her hand, held her hat, and pointed her toes. Classic, classic, classic.

 

 

Now, how dare me say vintage without mentioning

audrey_hepburn Audrey Hepburn. This vintage princess never went out of style. Look at her hair and her dress! Ooh, anyone could wear that right now and would still look pretty!

Hmmm, probably on my next entry we’ll try to feature out outfits or looks that could have gotten inspiration from the ones I just showed you. Let’s see!

xoxo

e

Big Hoops

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Aren’t these babies beautiful? I’m sure they’d go perfectly well with a black bodycon or a cut-off  dress. <3

June 1, 2009

I do not need to be left alone in a haunted house to know how it feels to be alone and scared. I am alone and scared. Abandoned, nonetheless.

It’s overwhelming how one person can make and destroy my life. It has been a month-long battle, yet I don’t see myself recovering or even winning this fucked-up battle. I mean, how does he do it? How does he ‘win’ like this, when I’m the only one who’s fighting? How can he stare at me like that and watch me die? How does he do ALL OF THIS without pain? Or is he really in pain but he has been masking it with his frigidity?

Lord, send me an answer. Please?

It feels like yesterday, we were there, in that spot in my bed and his talking on the other line, my laying on my favourite pillow, talking about our future and what would become of us. But tonight, nothing like that will surely happen. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not anytime in the future.

It’s pathetic how I actually believe he is still there, waiting for me to lay down with him and cuddle. It’s pathetic how every night, I play pretend that he’s still there and we’d wake up the next morning. It’s pathetic—oh, wait, perhaps I’m the one who’s pathetic.

Two weeks ago we have talked about our moving on to our own lives without each other. Two weeks ago we both finally agreed on letting go of each other. “For good”, he always says. Well for me, it is true. It is definitely FOR GOOD.

People say things like, “I’m leaving him for good” because they mean they are leaving one person behind and never coming back. People say things like, “'I’m doing this for good” because they mean they are making decisions for the common good. Well, I think, when he said that he was going to leave me for good, he meant it both ways.

Two weeks ago we were still talking, two weeks ago it feels like it was just a horrible dream. But from the numbers of my waking up, I do not believe all of this was a dream. It is true, two weeks ago, he BROKE us up. Two weeks ago I agreed on letting him go. Two weeks ago I was more stupid than I was right now.

Cruel, how loneliness can make me see nothing but the dark. I have tried several times, sought countless sparks that could help me recover from this loss. But I always end up losing the everyday battle against abandonment.

Friends are there, of course. But I ask you, do they really fill in the spaces in your heart you especially mounted for that single person? It takes awhile to let it all go. It takes a while. A month is not enough for me to forget a 4 year relationship with him. Never have I imagined myself being like this for quite some time, and I think this is it.

I consider them all great. I usually imagine someone ‘moving on’ whenever I ask them how they recovered from their first heartbreak. Them who chose to move on with their lives instead of waiting for their former love to come back. Them who lived after being abandoned by or who have abandoned past lovers. It’s incredible, their strength. It’s admirable, almost envious.

I just wish I was as brave as they were, happy, as they probably are now. All moved-on and content, all moved-on and happy.

But why do I still get that feeling that we will be together, somehow, someday? Why does it still feel like all of this was just a bad bad choice? What is wrong with me?

Why can’t I move on?

I do not know the answer to that. Yet, I have the slightest hunch of someone who does. And I think he knows who he is.

One in a million you are, my dear. I have longed to be with you and I quite miss you. Please come back to me soon.

I will be waiting.

May 27, 2009

 

Dear God,

I seemed to have figured out how this thing works. I pray, and you respond to me in the most unpredictable and disguised ways. I love it, really. It makes me look forward to everyday and gives me a reason to ‘live’.

I confess that prior to this I was never really a Church person, nor was I a pious one. I admit, too, that I only discovered the gift and benefits of prayer when I was in deep trouble with my school. I thank you, for that.

Everything else is in place now. You are so Amazing, you truly have made me happier and content. And being content, is by far the greatest challenge I have ever surpassed. Thanks, you give me special gifts every single day.

Today

It was extra warm today. I did not want to come out and enjoy the sun, because It wasn’t enjoyable sweating my butt off like that. But I’m thankful, my family can afford an air conditioner, it was Cool.

Hmm, I wonder how many people out there survive the heat without their air conditioner? Perhaps people living by the beach make the most out of every day by laying on the sand, playing Frisbee with their pups, and roasting shrimps by the shore. How about those families living under the bridges? Oh, I consider them most lucky! They get all the shade they want and the disturbing rays do not penetrate through concrete at all!

All the while I thought today was going to be very warm, but then again, you gave us rain! It rained for about an hour, giving moisture to the sun-drenched rooftops and plants. Thanks.

I have had a fair share of the family’s banquet today. I am currently enjoying my favourite snack. Thanks.

The day is about to end, yet I am thrilled of what might happen tonight. I don’t know, perhaps my family will decide on leaving for vacation or someone leaves a really cute puppy outside our door. Or perhaps, my family wins the daily lottery, well, we don’t know.

I thank you for my day, Lord.

 

You’re awesome. :)

Amen